I sit and watch my wife, as I often do, when she does not know I am looking at her and me thank God that I am blessed to have a woman who enjoys life. We, like any other couple, have our ups and downs and sometimes the downs outweigh the ups. Nevertheless, I would not trade my marriage for all the tea in China. We have been together for nine years and my wife is pregnant with our first child. We have a semi-traditional yet contemporary relationship where each of us takes on some of the historically defined roles of the man and the women. However, we break from those traditions in several areas. My wife mows the grass while I do the cooking and my wife washes the cars while I do the laundry. Strange, you might think, but efficient. We chose these duties because they are what we enjoy doing, not because we were supposed to do them. My wife and I try to have fun in whatever we are doing without defining roles for one another.
[...] Sex should never be considered a game or used against your spouse but it can be an intriguing and playful experience for both of you where you can laugh or cry, exhaust yourself or take it easy, and be very traditional or experiment a little. The best part of sex being an activity to be enjoyed is that you can discuss your performance afterwards and get honest feedback from your spouse. Open discourse in a sexual relationship is vital to your fulfillment. [...]
[...] Good Things Bad Things Getting married Arguing Buying a car Wrecking the car Buying a house Paying the bills Sex Not having sex Now that we have an idea of what is usually good and bad in a marriage, let's look at it for each individual in the marriage. Let's personalize it to the man and the woman based on what they might enjoy doing. Man Woman Good Things Bad Things Good Things Bad Things Playing basketball Getting injured Swimming Water in the nose Kissing your spouse Arguing Kissing your spouse Arguing Sex Not having sex Sex Not having sex If you look closely you will start to see an astonishing trend for both men and women and also for a marriage. [...]
[...] What this means is that you allow your wife equal credit for all the hard jobs she does while trying to share in the responsibilities of your relationship. Instead of defining yourself by your sexual prowess, try defining yourself by how much equal time you and your wife have to spend together. If your wife comes home at night and does laundry, cooks dinner and cleans the dishes while you sit in front of the TV, then you are not sharing equal time with your spouse. [...]
[...] As a result, men are stressing more and more because sex has become the most important role they can fulfill in their marriage. This has created a vacuum where sex is viewed by the wife as an onerous task or duty while the man views it as the sole remaining act that he can use to define himself. Another alarming aspect is that when men think their sex life is dreadful, they are not discussing their fears with their spouse. [...]
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