The poem "forgiving my father" portrays a relationship between the persona and her parents. The persona is willing to forgive her father after his financial irresponsibility and emotional abuse. The persona is angry at both her parents. She is angry at her father because he abuses her mother regularly and at her mother because she does not struggle to stop the abuse but rather goes ahead and exposes herself and the whole family. The poem starts by showing the anger of the speaker but changes the mood in the middle to show forgiveness. The first stanza shows that the speaker is angry at her father by using the words "it is payday." It shows that the father has been involved in a monetary problem and cannot have more time. The speaker also refers to her father as "old man" which shows that she is detached emotionally from him. This is because she does not refer to him as "father" or "dad."
Lines 5 and 6 raise concerns of the speaker toward her mother. Line 5 states that the mother opens her hand in an "early grave" which shows that she died earlier than one would expect. The writer feels that her father contributed greatly to her death due to his irresponsibility, both financially and emotionally. Despite being dead, her mother still brings out her hand from the ground to demand the emotional and monetary debt that the speaker's father owes her. However, this is not literally the case. The speaker holds her hand out on behalf of her mother like a good daughter. This shows that there were complications in the relationship between the speaker and her mother. She is the one who did all the dirty work for her mother since she is going ahead to collect her emotional and financial debts. The speaker changes to portray that despite the anger, she is ready to abandon and forget the situation which shows that she is willing to forgive the parents.
[...] She decides that she has no reason to be angry at her parents any more. The parents can neither repay their financial debt nor heal any emotional wounds from their graves. They cannot miraculously pop out of the “debtor's boxes” and accounting” can end this (line 22, 23). This poem shows an emotional journey of the speaker from anger and hatred towards her parents to complete forgiveness. References Laurence, Mary S. Best Loved Poems to Read Again & Again: The Most Moving Verses in the English Language. Secaucus, N.J: Castle Books Print. [...]
[...] Poetry Close Read Forgiving my Father The poem “forgiving my father” portrays a relationship between the persona and her parents. The persona is willing to forgive her father after his financial irresponsibility and emotional abuse. The persona is angry at both her parents. She is angry at her father because he abuses her mother regularly and at her mother because she does not struggle to stop the abuse but rather goes ahead and exposes herself and the whole family. The poem starts by showing the anger of the speaker but changes the mood in the middle to show forgiveness. [...]
[...] She acknowledges her father's problems have come due to his family, and has given her mother all he had. He had nothing while growing up with little knowledge on how to run a family. She recognizes he was poor and needy when growing up, and he is not fully to blame for the family. The speaker continues to forgive her father in the third stanza. She does this by spreading the blame on both her parents and washing her hands clean of the situation. [...]
[...] However, this is not literally the case. The speaker holds her hand out on behalf of her mother like a good daughter. This shows that there were complications in the relationship between the speaker and her mother. She is the one who did all the dirty work for her mother since she is going ahead to collect her emotional and financial debts. The speaker changes to portray that despite the anger, she is ready to abandon and forget the situation which shows that she is willing to forgive the parents. [...]
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