Teresa of Avila (1515–1582) was the founder of the cloistered Carmelite order during the time of the Spanish Inquisition. As the founder of a strict, cloistered order that emphasized poverty one might expect Teresa to have conservative views on issues like the value of human relationships. Her contemporaries tended to view such relationships as a hindrance on the spiritual path and believed that all one's attention had to be focused on God. Teresa's approach was unique for her time. After her death Teresa was canonized as a saint in the Roman Catholic Church and became the first female Doctor of the Church, so her teachings have a special authority for many. This paper will examine her teachings on the value and dangers of human relationships.
For Teresa of Avila, relationship was essential to her spiritual path. She refused to reject either human relationship or a relationship with the very human aspect of God, though others in the Church at that time encouraged people to do so. This does not mean that she was in favor of all human relationships. However prone to affection she may have been herself—and she is usually described as an extremely affectionate person—she was assiduous in warning against the dangers in human relationships. For her, it would appear the real purpose of human relationship was to bring as many souls as possible to what she saw as the ultimate relationship: a union with God.
[...] Garden City, NY: Image Books All citations to Interior Castle will be to Teresa of Avila. Interior Castle. Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D. and Otilio Rodrigues, O.C.D. trans. Mahway, N.J.: Paulist Press IC IC IC IC IC IC IC IC St. Teresa of Avila. The Way of Perfection. E. Allison Peers, trans. Garden City, NY: Image Books Ch p.75. All citations to Life will be to Teresa of Avila. Book of Her in The Autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila. Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D. and Otilio Rodriguez O.C.D., trans. New York: [...]
[...] And I think she and another girl friend of the same type impressed her own traits upon me.[10] Despite her heartfelt warning to parents, however, Teresa appeared to have a weakness for distracting friendships, and to have a hard time learning this lesson for herself. In her early convent days, Jesus himself let her know that he did not approve of one casual friendship. In telling the story, she does point out, that such friendships might not be so harmful to others and they were to her at that point in her development: Now then, I engaged in these conversations thinking that since this was the custom, my soul would not receive the harm and distraction I afterward understood comes from such companionship. [...]
[...] Human Friendship Love of neighbor, however, should not be confused with friendship in Teresa's way of thinking. Love of neighbor leads one toward charity, kindness, tolerance, and good works. She speaks of it in a detached way. Friendship, on the other hand, is very personal and can be both perilous and beneficial. Teresa warns of the dangers of vain friendships, but also rejects the idea that all friendship should be forsaken because God is enough. Friendship can be beneficial, and when it is, it should be encouraged: A person may be indifferent to all other people in the world and not worry whether they are serving God, or not, since the person she has to worry about is herself. [...]
[...] I believe that they who discuss these joys and trials for the sake of this friendship with God will benefit themselves and those who hear them, and they will come away instructed; even without the understanding how, they will have instructed their friends.[16] Teresa found that in her own life experience, while vain relationships did her harm, good relationships turned her around and gave her strength of purpose: [G]ood company began to help me get rid of the habits that the bad company had caused and to turn my mind to the desire for eternal things and for some freedom from the antagonism that I felt strongly within myself towards becoming a nun . [...]
[...] People further along the path might be able to engage in a wider range of human relationships with less danger of attachment or distraction. Bibliography Teresa of Avila. Book of Her in The Autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila. Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D. and Otilio Rodriguez O.C.D., trans. New York: One Spirit Teresa of Avila. Interior Castle. Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D. and Otilio Rodrigues, O.C.D. trans. Mahway, N.J.: Paulist Press Teresa of Avila. The Letters of Saint Teresa of Jesus, E. Allison Peers, trans. [...]
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